Rage and Despair

okay, so i've been writing more on The Last Days, but it pretty much is a completely different story. here's the run-down so far:

The book takes place in a near-future earth, maybe 50 years in the future. It follows a girl who wakes up on a deserted street with no memories of her past when she is around 10. six years later, now running under the name of ghost, she finds that she is actually a member of a corrupt dictatorship organization thing, who erased her memory and transferred her mind into the mind of a ten-year old girl so that no one would find her after she ran away from this "Union". So, here's one of my favorite parts i've written:

Half a day had passed since I witnessed the murder, the sun has now set. I can still see the astonished face of Fredrick every time i close my eyes, and every time my heart accelerates with fear and anger. I move faster, faster then i ever had on the air board, praying for the nightmare to be lost behind me in the rushing wind. Yet still i wonder: am i Tanya, am i howling inside for the death of Fredrick? Yet i shake my head, chasing the despairing thoughts away from my mind. I am Ghost, I never new the man. Of course i cannot feel the pain Tanya would feel, the grief that she would have endured. Yet this only makes me more wounded, and the tears still swell from within my chest at the face of anguish as Fredrick's former love stabbed him through the heart...as I stabbed him through the heart.

It seems, to my imagination, that every path i have boarded, every person i have ever spoken to, holds a part of me. I have become worn, tired, dispersed. If i am to end my suffering, I must draw together my distant parts, selfishly, protectively. No matter what may occur, I must wrap all my sorrows inside, if i am to become Diamond hard. Impossible to wound, incapable of tears.
Stretching my arms high above my head, i inhale, bringing back the echos of the past, bringing them within the cold confines of my being. Past the torn fencing, in the graffiti-covered parks, they hear me. My scattered selves. They rise like the undead, given the chance of life again, and eagerly seek the call. All that i was, all that i once cast aside, comes back to me now, for i am wounded and must heal myself, must become strong once more. Even those attachments i once cared for- Mark, Athena, Nathan, Gabriell, they too must be wrapped within my cold, hard form. Feeling the loss, but determined to survive, i inhale a third time.

There are no longer any exposed parts of my being to harm me, to harm the ones i love. For i am, and will always be Ghost, and forever must i continue onward.

All is still, and yet i quiver with energy. With my eyes closed in concentration, i channel the vibrancy of my life force into my heart. Only six year of existence, but so much vitality. Denser now, my weaknesses fall into the core of my being. Pride goes first, followed by innocence. Love is harder to force down, but eventually i am left only the few motions needed to win this war, the war that rages both in the world around me and within my heart. I am left with two: Rage and Despair. Rage has a silver breastplate beneath her gown, she carries a sword and a crown of silent screams apon her head. Despair is veiled; in her hand she holds a mirror, the brooch of her cape is an opalescent lily. They frighten me, but i let them closer, they lift their arms and embrace me.
Oh, Mercy! they are fire and ice. I blaze and burn, my soul is slowly torn through and through. We cling tighter, and my suffering continues throughout the night. All nights must end, i tell myself. And so it does, with the light of dawn, banishing the creatures of my own creation, my own will. Within the heart of the sun lies the bane and salvation of man, the only thing that keeps us going through the darkness of our lives. And, with Rage and despair's departure, i am purged. With a startling realization, i find that the victory to this endless fight lies not within darkness, but with light.

I turn my board and dive into the light of the sun, hope in my steed.

We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

>im not going to be able to post this week, so ill just put this song up for ya. Its by U2, a band which is nothing short of amazing. They're part of a world wide campaign called the one, and use the money they get to help the poor ect. Their a really political band, but in a good way..against oppression and all.
ill post more later

Pride (In The Name Of Love) lyrics - U2 lyrics

Pride (In The Name Of Love) Video - U2 Music Videos

Music Videos by VideoCure

btw i know that the video isn't that great, but the lyrics are what its here for

What some wish for...

A little "be careful what you wish for" story. Just to clarify, i have nothing against lawyers, their just fun to poke fun at. This one is pretty weak, but i need to put something up so..


Stephen Kline was a respectable man living in the suburbs of Boston. Having graduated top of his class from law school, and with a prosperous future with the Boston Law, he was also plagued with many less flattering traits that plagued many lawyers of his time: greed, treachery, and a firm hand in the underground market all kept him as a focus in his job. And all of these flaws would lead Kline to his ultimate demise, which began on a fateful road during typical Monday afternoon as he was walking back from a particularly grueling day at the office. As he strolled past a common gypsy beggar, he was startled with a sudden tug at his leg. Looking down, he found the beggar clawing at his feet, begging for change. “Please sir, just enough to by me some food, my children are starving!” Glancing down at the empty jar, he shrugged and dropped a five dollar bill into her outstretched hands. Yet, even as he made a move to walk away, he found that the pitiful pile of rags was still clinging to his pants leg. With tears in her eyes, she brought her gaze to stare right below his nose, and cried hoarsely:
“Thank you, sir, your charity shall be greatly rewarded!”
She brought her eyes up, and Kline hesitantly, after a few seconds of silence, ventured further with a casual
“Huh?”
The woman, her long nails digging into his arms, clawed her way to her feet. “I will grant you three wishes, and no matter what you say, it will be granted to you”.
Kline, clearly questioning the sanity of this woman, ventured farther with another casual “Huh?”
“Go on, anything you want, it shall be granted”. Was Kline imagining the faintly reddish glow in the woman’s eyes?
Well, if it worked, he would never have to work again. If I didn’t, no harm done, right? “Okay…I guess, for starters, I would like a trillion dollars.
The woman seemed to be considering this, then “go on”
“I would like myself to be envied by everyone for my beauty”
“done”
He thought for a moment, then “I’d like to live forever”
“You Sure?”
“Yes”


6:30 A.M, the next day

Kline awoke the next morning in a daze, having stayed up all night doing paperwork. Practically crawling to the bathroom, he picked up his razor and began to shave, not really focusing on his image in the mirror. After nicking himself, however, he glanced up only to see and alien face staring back at him. What stood before him in the mirror was undoubtedly beautiful, but somehow…predatorial, as if he was a kind of vampire. He ran to the computer, to find, to his great enlightment, that exactly 1 trillion dollars had been transferred into his bank account. Practically skipping with glee, he hurriedly got ready and ran out the door.

Kline walked up to the newsstand, the newsboy completely rapped up in his gaming magazine. Grabbing a paper, he slapped down a five dollar bill. Without looking up, the newsboy said “that would be 500...yen, sir”.
“Yen??”
Flipping a page in his game informer, he replied “yeah, the U.S dollar dropped hugely over night…government’s using yen now.” He glanced up, then started backing away from the desk slowly. “What are you, anyways?” In a daze, Kline simply got up and left, emerging himself in the shadows of the alleyways.

3 thousand years later

The U.S government hadn’t been too happy with him, he reflected as his stomach gave another painful jerk, trying to digest itself but to no avail. Having found him in possession of trillions of stolen U.S dollars, and put of by his unearthly looks, they locked him up in a cell to rot until they found a way to deal with him. But nuclear war decades later changed all of that, and he had simply curled up and waited for the sun to supernova, then to float aimlessly through space through endless darkness and cold, possibly finding himself on another life-bearing planet. And even then, could his body keep going even after the universe ripped itself apart?

He would think the same thing, over and over, for the rest of eternity.

School is out

Yeah, I know that i haven't been writing as much as i want, but I've been spending the last few days of school hanging out with friends that i wont see over the summer. However, now that school is (finally) over, i think i can get back to writing...

As far as my short stories go, i have been writing them..just that i can find anything that's good. I've written around 3-4 stories. then when i look over them i just delete it all.. Probably have one in this week.

If you want some good stories though, my sister Kayla is really good..i mean REALLY good. You can find her at Kaylas Blog Site.blogspot.com