Prologue- Ascension

So, here goes the first entry that will (hopefully) go into a book and perhaps a series...fat chance, i know, but here goes nothing. it has kind of a sci-fi/fantasy setting (kind of a mix between James Cameron's Avatar and the Eragon/Eldest/Brisingr series) but I hope it works out well. anyways, here goes nothing:

*btw, lightning is a placeholder name, and the story is a very, very rough draft. I would really appreciate some pointers on how it could be better :)

Three figures stepped out from the shadows, their forms illuminated by the bio luminescent plant life around them and by the light of the two crescent moons hanging in the sky, though their faces were hidden in the shadow cast by the hooded cloaks wrapped around them. With a subtle look around itself, the leader threw back its hood, revealing the sharp- almost predatory –angles of its jaw, complemented by the blue-green tint of its skin and the rich black hair that shimmered shades of blue in the moonlight as the figure broke into a cool, determined stride. It was a creature of intense beauty, but also one of predatory mind and skill.
With an almost imperceptible gesture, Lightning signaled her companions to follow, and they matched their stride to hers, hands casually resting on the kiedral Gunswordes hidden beneath their robes. As they moved forward, more of her shadowed companions emerged from the darkness, until the numbers around her swelled into the dozens. A faint smile played on her beautiful features as she casually viewed the warriors positioned around her. They were ready for battle, and battle they would receive. Tonight, the war would truly begin.
Without breaking stride Lightning pulled out a simple staff, roughly a half long, and balanced it within her hand. With a flick of the wrist, two Kiedral blades folded out from each end, easily doubling the weapon’s size. The duel blades glinted in the moonlight, the Woodsteel they were made of allowing nearly unlimited control and finesse while simultaneously hard enough to puncture steel without fracturing. The Insetii, it was known as, a weapon crafted individually for the bearer, a weapon requiring great skill, concentration, and years of practice.
Fortunately, Lightning possessed all three, and something more: the wrathful vengeance of her people residing within the inky blackness of her soul, a darkness that suppressed any feelings of hope, guilt, mercy, or love, kindling the rage and passion in her heart until the moment she struck. It was this inner calmness at the face of death that made her a legend amongst her people and a feared myth to the Sìtral- the humans residing in their sanctuaries of glass and steel, decedents of an invading race who fled their dieing planet for this one, unknowingly triggering the seeds of war with their first steps onto the planets surface thousands of years prior. They were strangers, invaders, harbingers of war and destruction- at for that they had to die.
Raising a hand to halt the war party, Lightning sent telepathic link to the other war bands, some 2 dozen of them, each consisting of up to 40 warriors. Nearly a thousand warriors, an army with numbers hundreds above anything Lightning had commanded before. Still, even with their knowledge of the land and the ever prevalent rage in their hearts, they were vastly outmatched. Whereas the warriors around her consisted of a few hundred, the humans had thousands, maybe even tens of thousands, and no one could survive those odds for long. They would either succeed quickly, or die as another martyr to their cause. She nodded to the few warriors armed with pulse rifles, quickly signaling them to move into support position, then readied the rest of the war party to advance.
The sky had since changed from the black of night to the faded red of early morning, and a hazy mist had draped the plain before them. Lightning broke into a steady run, the rest of the 600-some other warriors fallowing suit. Within a matter of minutes they had broken through the veil, and with the distinct war cry of their people, they charged.
The first of the humans were struck down before they could ready their weapons, their combat exoskeletons made to withstand the pulse rifle blast of the warlike Arascole and were defenseless against the shape edges of the Kiedral blades that plunged through their kinetic barriers as if they were non existent. Unleashing the hidden fury and hatred that had been smoldering within her since for countless years, Lightning struck like an avenging ancestor on the battlefield, weaving in and out of the pulse rifle fire from the second wave, vanquishing two or three soldiers with each sweep of the double-edged Insetii. Every childhood horror, every long-held hatred and silent oaths of revenged were unleashed in a fury of blades, carving a way through the battlefield as her kin followed behind, striking down the human scourge with almost as much hatred and vengeance as she felt- they too, had lost much to the humans, too much to be ignored.
The inevitability of victory was short-lived, however, and with the element of surprise lost, Lightning and her fellow warriors were slowly loosing their momentum, allowing the humans to swell around them and attack them from all sides, an idiotic mistake Lightning had made while in her initial bloodlust. She cleared her head and regained her initial composure, but it was too late for her war band. The golden white of the human’s armor surrounded them, and one by one her fellow companions fell to the deadly burst of the human’s pulse rifles. They fought valiantly, extinguishing five human lives for every one of their deaths, but in the end their numbers proved too many. Lightning had been foolish to think that their initial strike would be powerful enough to cripple the human’s ability to retaliated, and now she –and all her people- would suffer do to her stupidity.
The bodies of her war band lay scattered around her, bodies of the kin she had fought so valiantly to protect, now reduced to lifeless husk to be trampled underfoot by the rapidly advancing human soldiers. Backed into a corner, and with no way out barring an inevitable death, she flung herself towards her sworn enemy with a last, defiant exclamation of “Akiera!”

The world erupted into fire


*If I really get this going (i'm into this story more than any others) I may put up another blog just to archive it..no promises though, we'll see how it turns out.

*Edit #2: This is two pages on word, but, as a prologue, it seems like it should be longer. suggestions?