Comittment and Confusion

Okay...quick question: what is it with girls and being constantly confusing? especially when your in a relationship with one of them. Just think on that question for a bit as I explain my last few days starting...a week ago from this post.

Wednesday my girlfriend, Andrea, came back from the beach. Texted her for...5 hours? while she was driving back....I hate texting, but you know how it goes, and besides its always good talking to her. Went to see Knight and Day with her that night...good movie, its pretty funny and has some good action scenes, so its worth watching, made me laugh a few times here and there. Andrea was pretty quiet...she has always been kind of shy though, and I guess that she was tired from the ride back from the beach. Still, I was kind of worried about her anyways.

Thursday...was interesting. I went uptown with a couple of friends, the same group as usual: Logan, Joseph, Stephen, Amelia, Kimmy, Sydney, Andrea, and Daniel, making a grand total of 9 of us (sometimes there is a bit more of us there, sometimes less.) You know, people ask me why I keep going uptown day after day, but in reality actually doing something with friends on an almost daily basis has really improved my summer over what it was last year. Anyways, my main problem is that there are two girls in particular that are, well, blocking me from interacting with Andrea. Normally its not a big deal, but they are constantly clinging to her and making it so that I can't get close to her at all. I mean, it shouldn't be a problem, but it bothers me a lot.

Nothing happened really Friday, but Saturday was fantastic. Went uptown to see the 4th of July parade (which, indecently, is on the 3rd) and town festival with Logan and Andrea, and had a blast doing so. Generally just hung out, enjoyed the festival to the fullest- and the parade was fantastic by the way. Went to Andrea's house afterwords, had a ton of fun there (and yes, I am still the champion of Guitar Hero, but both my girlfirend and her younger brother gave me a run for my money.) Andrea's family brought me to see the fireworks at the Country Club afterwords, and I met back up with Logan there too. The Firewoks were spectacular...what really made me happy though was that Andrea was in her rare moods where she's giggly, happy, and pretty silly...its good to see her like that, having fun that is. All around one of the best days of my summer, which is already the best summer of my life.

Sunday was the 4th, independence day...went to a party with most of my aforementioned friends, and I had fun for around half of the party. I did notice though that those two girls were constantly getting between Andrea and me again, and as much as I tried to get close to her they would constantly push me away from her...the few times I did manage to be with her she seemed rather distant. Things really started to go downhill when the person who was setting off the fireworks tipped over the mortar, and all the fireworks went off around 20 feet from the porch that we were on. A couple of my friends managed to get down there and pull the guy out but...well, I freaked out. completely froze. I feel really, really, really bad now, mostly because Andrea was right beside me and I didn't move to help her or protect her or anything, and she could have gotten really hurt. I don't know...I was just so scared, and I couldn't think straight. I don't think andrea minded at first... she was really scared too and she's the understanding type. but then one of those two girls pulled her aside once the fireworks stopped, and andrea didn't talk to me the rest of the night...i don't know what they said, but I think they made it so that andrea was hurt by something I did, probably freezing by the fireworks. I just felt really bad for the rest of the day, really alone, and I left with Logan early. I just couldn't handle it.

From Monday to Wednesday (today) my family had to leave for a family emergency and I lived with Logan (who lives only around a 10 minute walk away) for the week so that I could stay behind to take care of the pets and everything. Andrea said that she felt really, really bad for the previous night, but it still really, really hurt for her to ignore me like that...but I'm more mad at that one girl who is trying to get between us and who pretty much caused andrea to ignore me. It happened again yesterday...one of the two girls was being really stubborn uptown, and logan, kim and I just got fed up with it and left, we didn't want to deal with it anymore. The thing is...I fully expected andrea to follow, seeing as she was being annoyed by it to, but she didn't follow us at all. I don't know...I guess those two "friends" of hers are more important than me (even though she keeps saying that I'm the best thing thats ever happened to her) and well...It hurts, a lot. I mean, I know that she really, really likes me and wants to be around me, but those two girls are keeping us apart...I've tried to stop it, but I only succeeded in getting one of them really, really mad at me and probably will try harder to keep us apart. Andrea is just really, really shy around other people (not around me, she is really outgoing when its just the two of us) and I think that its less of her fault than the fault of the two girls that are getting between us. It just makes me so mad and I feel helpless with the number of ways I'm trying to get close to her that keep failing...really, I don't know what to do. Andrea is one of the most important people in my life, and both of us Like each other a ton...but if I don't do something about these two girls, than...i don't know what will happen. I don't want to loose Andrea, but I can't see a way for us to be together with those two girls getting in the way...I need help is what I'm trying to say.

Hopefully the next week will be better.